For many decades, even centuries, men stood as breadwinners of the family and women as homemakers and nurturers. With progressing times, the norm has changed this narrative. These days men and women both are earning. In some cases women are overtaking men in terms of the income they bring home. Whilst this is not a gender race but breaking a long held mindset is not easy. 

Articles and conversations take into account the facts statistically, quite often forgetting or ignoring  the emotions behind the reality. In developing nations, with women learning to manage their finances and working to build their identity, they are empowering themselves financially. Given it’s not a practice that stems from long history, the change is overwhelming. It is a topic that’s trending with many looking for ways to deal with such situations smoothly. 

Money matters need to be dealt sensitively and with utmost care. Here’s a list we’ve narrowed down to ensure you can navigate your growing income in the family without hurting pride and ego and keeping your needs in check.

1. In your relationship, look at finances individually and as a couple and family. Every person has their own likes, dislikes and preferences. To be able to make those choices without restrictions is key. To unlock and  iron out any financial friction arising out of personal choices, define short term and long term individual goals as well as your goals as a couple and as a family. 

Problem: Who contributes to what goal and how much? 

Ideal outcome: To come up with ways that work best for both, without hurting pride and seeding resentment.   

 Probable Solution:                     

A) For fixed household expenses and common goals you could contribute equally. For goals that are more individual in nature such as a personal car or adding to a personal jewellery closet, you could contribute in proportion to the degree of interest. 

B) For shared long term goals such as retirement corpus or saving for a new home, evaluate your standing. After deducting money for monthly expenses, necessary savings and investments, how are your finances placed. Naturally the higher income earner will have more to spare. Decide on aspects that each of you will handle and financially commit accordingly.

2. Income Ratio Change 

Income variations are bound to happen. One cannot predict a steady flow for any earning member. Unexpected raise, uncertain unemployment, sabbatical, etc. are all part and parcel of the work life. Women end up taking more leaves to nurture a family. 

Problem: How do you save more for yourself to sustain unplanned expenses and sabbatical? How do you ensure your spouse is aligned to the same thought process?

Ideal Outcome: If you’re earning more and want to ensure your savings last you longer, you need to come up with a level headed solution. 

Probable Solution:

A) Discuss with your spouse hypothetical situations and how you wish to address each of them. In case of childbirth, would you like to opt for a stay at home route or go back to working? How much contribution of income should go towards reserves like this?

B) Common goal output will determine your action plan. Before marriage or as soon as you get married, you should hire a financial expert — a certified, well educated and experienced guide. Your planner will help you understand the repercussions of possibilities and choices you make. They will guide you through setting up your finances in alignment to your goals. A key benefit of bringing them onboard is always having an unbiased and practical view in handling the financial challenges.

Whether it’s the tricky question of who makes the decision or emotions of guilt and embarrassment that overwhelm your sense of independence, pride and sense of empowerment, the millennial shift is a welcome change, not for the change in gender roles but simply put, the financial independence that women enjoy. If that puts a strain in your relationship, you need to find ways to mend the problem. 

Each woman faces a unique financial challenge when she inadvertently becomes a high income earner. Even though men are becoming receptive to the idea, there are roadblocks that need to be cleared. Do you find yourself in a similar situation? Reach out to our panel of financial planners equipped with the right knowledge and experience to handle the trickiest of financial upheavals.